I am not a poet. Rimbaud was, as were Baudelaire, Verlaine, Shakespeare, Maya Angelou ... . That word belongs to them. I just write stories. Sometimes, they rhyme, usually by accident. Occasionally, they're funny, in the same way stubbing your toe is funny. Every now and then, someone even reads them. And by someone, I mean my imaginary corgi, Croissandwich. ​This section has a little bit of everything: Columns from my newspaper days, streams of consciousness, short stories, unfinished ideas, and even the occasional poem — although I use that word sarcastically.